Three Funny Jokes

Things to say if caught sleeping at your desk

Face it, we all feel sleepy the moment we enter the office premises. But what if your boss caught you sleeping at your desk? Here is what you can tell him:

• "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

• "This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me."

• "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here just in time!"

• "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

• "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

• "I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress."

• "Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

• "The coffee machine is broken..."

• "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

• " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."

School Gifts

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." " That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?"

"Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.

The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."

"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl.

"Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue.

"Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue.

"Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with more excitement.

The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"

With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

Marketing Concepts

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.

You go up to her and say, "I am very rich.Marry me!"

That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.

One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich.Marry him.

"That's Advertising.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party.

You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say "Hi,I'm very rich.Marry me.

"That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straightenyour tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm very rich.Will you marry me?

"That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you andsays, "You are very rich.." That's Brand Recognition.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'mrich.Marry me" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.That's Customer Feedback !!!!!

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I am very rich.Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husbandThat's demand and supply gap.

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before yousay, "I am very rich.Marry me!" she turns her face towards you ------------ she is your wife !

That's competition eating into your market share